Hannah's web log

Nothing ruins a Macca's run like forgotten pickles. They are the best part of the burger, and removing them is a crime. There's a pickle crisis at McDonald's; a cultural tragedy unfolding before our eyes.

There is an operational bias at play. They never forget the mustard, or the bun. Always the pickles. The equation is simple: Too many people ask for no pickles + not enough people complain when they forget the pickles = they are more likely to forget the pickles. The pickle-hating minority has normalized a dangerous culture of silence.

There is always the option to add extra pickles - and it's free. I assume all the pickle removers have pushed them into surplus. Sounds like a pickle lover's best option, right? Be careful. You're playing with fire. It's like a cruel game of pickle roulette – will your customization note be read properly, or will it trigger the default "no pickles" response? The stakes couldn't be higher.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want to come across as the worst possible thing a McDonald's customer can be: a Karen. I feel nothing but empathy for those kids, doing their 6 hour shifts after school, late into the night, surrounded by fluorescent lights, beeping machines, and impatient fast food addicts.

No, my scorn lies with the pickle haters. I assume these people think mayonnaise is a spice. I assume these people pick the peas out of a risotto and cut the crusts off their sandwiches. I assume these people's mothers prepared a separate dinner for them because they wouldn't try what the adults were eating. And we let these uncultured swine shift the Overton pickle window? What is the world coming to?

We are living in a pickle-neglect pipeline, and it's time to speak truth to power.

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